Dr who is the longest running егэ ответы

Мониторинг для учащихся сдающих ЕГЭ и профильных 11 классов

Чтение (40 минут)

B2

Установите соответствие между заголовками 1-8 и текстами A-G. Занесите свои ответы в таблицу. Используйте каждую цифру только один раз. В задании один заголовок лишний.

B3

Прочитайте текст и заполните пропуски A-F частями предложений, обозначенными цифрами 1-7. Одна из частей в списке 1-7 лишняя. Занесите цифры, обозначающие соответствующие части предложений, в таблицу.

Health Advice for Travellers

Doctors tend to be poor educators; we have depressingly little to show for our efforts to educate the general public on even such a clear-cut issue as the effects of cigarette smoking on health.  How much more difficult, then is it for doctors to provide large numbers of departing travellers with detailed information and effective advice for their trip when the usual forum for doing so is a single, hurried consultation, just before departure. There are limits to what can be achieved in or should be expected from a medical consultation A_____, even when the doctor is well- informed about the subject, and the traveller is receptive, has a perfect memory, and is good at doing what he or she is told.

What kind of advice should travelers receive? A list of rules and instructions B______ carries the implication that travellers are incapable of understanding the principles involved, are not interested, or do not ‘need’ to know. C______ advice offered on such condescending terms is seldom followed for long. The best advice is not a list of dos and don’ts, but a clear, rational explanation from which a conclusion is obvious.

D_____, we have studiously avoided giving advice to consult a doctor without stating the reason for doing so. ‘Consult your doctor’ is a useful formula to enable advice-givers to avoid difficult issues, but is a particularly unhelpful one when it relates to a problem which may arise abroad. E_____to find a doctor in a remote place. Some 85% of the world’s population have never seen a doctor, and never will. Advice for travellers must take account of the fact that travellers to many parts of the world will be F______.

1. It is hardly surprising that
2. But despite this
3. Throughout this book
4. In the same position
5. Given without explanation or justifications
6. It is not easy
7. Under the best of circumstances

Прочитайте текст и выполните задания А15-А21. В каждом задании обведите цифру 1, 2, 3 или 4, соответствующую выбранному вами варианту ответа

A walk in the midday sun

        Hot weather makes your heart pump harder, and if you’re not very fit, you start to understand why the majority of mountain rescue statistics are made up from summer walkers suffering heart attacks. Heat exhaustion is quite easy to get when you’re making a great physical effort. It happens where your body can’t produce enough sweat to keep you cool.

        The answer is to keep up your water intake. It’s a good idea to drink a pint of water for every 10 degrees Fahrenheit every 24 hours. So, if the temperature is in the 70s, and you are doing a five-hour walk, you’ll need a minimum of around one and a half pints of water. It’s vital that you don’t wait until you develop a raging thirst before you stop for a drink – keep taking regular swigs from your water bottle.

        Many walkers flavour their water with fruit juice, which makes it a lot more palatable. You could even use one of the isotonic drinks made for athletes, which replace the body’s salts lost through sweating. Powders such a Dioralyte, which you may have in the house as a treatment for diarrhoea, will do the job just as well, as its main aim is also effective rehydration.

        Given that evaporation is your body’s cooling mechanism, you can help things along with an external application of water. Soaking your hat with water is a great way to cool the head, through if the sun is beating down, it will probably dry off almost immediately. Better still then if you can plunge into a river or the sea fully-clothed. And if that’s not possible, then at least take off your boots and socks and paddle in a cool stream.

        Walking in the heat increases the rate at which your feet swell, which can lead to them feeling tight in your boots. Cool water from a stream reduces any swelling and helps general foot comfort. At the same time, you can check out your feet for signs of blisters. Extra sweating makes the skin softer and increases the chance of blisters forming, in the same way as when water leaks into your boots and gets to your feet.

        As for what clothing you wear, this should be lightweight and reasonably loose-fitting. Tight clothing will feel uncomfortable and may even lead to the formation of an irritating rash known as ‘prickly heat’ on your skin. The answer, if this does develop, is to try and stay cool as much as possible. Do this by either keeping in the shade, or washing the affected area with cold water, but without soap. But prevention is by far the best approach, so keep your clothing light.

        It’s understandable to want to remove any extraneous clothing when it’s extremely hot, but it doesn’t really make much sense to take off T-shirts. The sun’s rays can be quite strong, and shoulders are always very sensitive to sunburn. This is the worst place to be red and sore when you are wearing a heavy rucksack on your back. Wearing shorts can also create problems for walkers, as the backs of the legs can catch the sun very easily.

        In fact, those days when an apparently harmless breeze is blowing can be the most deceptive. It might not feel so hot, so you probably won’t notice the damage being done so soon. As on every other day then, a good strong sun cream should therefore be applied to any skin which is exposed. Make the most of the summer, but treat the sun with the respect it deserves.

Грамматика и лексика (40 минут)

Прочитайте приведенные ниже тексты. Преобразуйте, если необходимо, слова, напечатанные заглавными буквами в конце строк, обозначенных номерами В4-В10, так чтобы они грамматически соответствовали содержанию текстов. Заполните пропусками полученными словами. Каждый пропуск соответствует отдельному заданию из группы В4-В10.

Teen Spending

Exams

Прочитайте приведенный ниже текст. Преобразуйте, если необходимо, слова, напечатанные заглавными буквами в конце строк, обозначенных номерами В11-В16, так чтобы они грамматически и лексически соответствовали содержанию текста. Заполните пропуски полученными словами. Каждый пропуск соответствует отдельному заданию из группы В11-В16.

JOGGING

What do trees do? They blind together hillside soil and reduce erosion A22_____to run-off. Besides A23_____ a source of food and income-earing products, forests function as natural ‘gene banks’ and as a veritable virtual A24____ of biodiversity. Products from trees, shrubs, forests and bush lands provide a source of nutrition A25_____ingredients for medicines. Trees A26_____ provide shade to cattle and crops, leaves and pods provide fodder and the wood serves as fuel or is used for construction activities. They slow the wind and A27 _____it from fields, protecting the crops and reducing erosion. They can also be grown as cash crop for fruits, oil, timber, latex and gum A28_____. Trees help recycle nutrients from deep in the soil to the surface – nitrogen fixing trees act as natural fertilizers by absorbing nitrogen from the atmosphere and fixing it in the soil.

7 Ïîñòàâüòå ãëàãîëû â ñêîáêàõ â ïðàâèëüíóþ âðåìåííóþ ôîðìó. Êàêîé âèä óñëîâíîãî ïðåäëîæåíèÿ â êàæäîì âûñêàçûâàíèè?

1 Åñëè âû êèïÿòèòå âîäó, îíà ïðåâðàùàåòñÿ â ïàð.

2 Îíà áû ðàññòðîèëàñü, åñëè áû ïîòåðÿëà ñâîè ñåðåæêè.

3 Åñëè âû áóäåòå ó÷èòüñÿ óñåðäíî, âû ñäàäèòå ýêçàìåí.

4 Åñëè áû ÿ áûë áîãàò, ÿ áû ïîåõàë â êðóèç ïî âñåìó ìèðó.

5 Âû ñòàíåòå ëó÷øèì èãðîêîì, åñëè áóäåòå áîëüøå òðåíèðîâàòüñÿ.

6 Åñëè áû ìîÿ êîìàíäà èãðàëà ëó÷øå, îíè áû âûèãðàëè êóáîê.

7 Îíè ðàññòðîÿòñÿ, åñëè âû íå ïðèäåòå.

8 Ëåä òàåò, åñëè âû åãî íàãðåâàåòå.

Ðåøåíèå #

1 turns (Type 0) (ïðåâðàùàåòñÿ)

2 lost (Type 2) (ïîòåðÿëà)

3 will pass (Type 1) (ñäàäèòå)

4 would go (Type 2) (ÿ áû ïîåõàë)

5 practiced (Type 1) (òðåíèðîâàòüñÿ)

6 played (Type 2) (èãðàëà)

7 do not come (Type 1) (íå ïðèäåòå)

8 heat (Type 0) (íàãðåâàåòå)

Ïðèâåäåì âûäåðæêó èç çàäàíèÿ èç ó÷åáíèêà Þëèÿ Âàóëèíà, Äæóííè Äóëè 8 êëàññ, Ïðîñâåùåíèå:

7 Put the verbs in brackets into the correct tense. What type of conditional is each sentence?

1 If you boil water, it……..(turn) to steam.

2 She would be upset if she……..(lose) her earrings.

3 If you study hard, you……..(pass) the exam.

4 If I were rich, I……..(go) on a cruise around the world.

5 You will become a better player if you…..(practise) more.

6 If my team……..(play) better, they could win the cup.

7 They’ll be disappointed if you……..(not/come .

8 Ice melts if you……..(heat) it.

*Öèòèðèðîâàíèå ÷àñòè çàäàíèÿ ñî ññûëêîé íà ó÷åáíèê ïðîèçâîäèòñÿ èñêëþ÷èòåëüíî â ó÷åáíûõ öåëÿõ äëÿ ëó÷øåãî ïîíèìàíèÿ ðàçáîðà ðåøåíèÿ çàäàíèÿ.

2

Вы услышите диалог. Определите, какие из приведённых утверждений А—G соответствуют содержанию текста (1 — True), какие не соответствуют (2 — False) и о чём в тексте не сказано, то есть на основании текста нельзя дать ни положительного, ни отрицательного ответа (3 — Not stated). Занесите номер выбранного вами варианта ответа в таблицу. Вы услышите запись дважды.

A Dana has been very successful recently.

B Ken is going to tell Dana some important information.

C Dana is looking for the job at the moment.

D Dana’s promotion came through quite unexpectedly.

E Dana didn’t get a raise in her salary.

F Ken is getting married in two weeks.

G Dana is surprised to hear that her friend is getting married.

Вы услышите рассказ популярной американской певицы о её карьере. В заданиях 3—9 запишите в поле ответа цифру 1, 2 или 3, соответствующую выбранному Вами варианту ответа. Вы услышите запись дважды.

3

The narrator says she started to write songs
1) when she was ten.
2) because she could not talk.
3) because it was the best way to express her feelings.
Ответ: .

4

According to the narrator,
1) she could afford to have a recording studio.
2) her family was not well off.
3) she bought Christmas presents for her friends.
Ответ: .

5

The narrator returned to Texas because
1) her apartment burnt down.
2) she had got several college music scholarships.
3) a friend told her about the American Idol audition in Dallas.
Ответ: .

6

Looking back on the show, the narrator says that
1) few people really believed she could win.
2) the members of the crew were not at all supportive.
3) everyone was supporting her.
Ответ: .

7

The narrator thinks that
1) she ought to become thinner.
2) she could serve as a role model for young girls.
3) girls should not live up to their idols.
Ответ: .

8

The narrator dreams of
1) touring the world.
2) having a permanent relationship.
3) staying single.
Ответ: .

9

The narrator considers herself
1) to be a celebrity.
2) practical and sensible.
3) honest and sincere.
Ответ: .

Раздел 2. ЧТЕНИЕ

10

Установите соответствие между заголовками 1—8 и текстами A—G. Занесите свои ответы в таблицу. Используйте каждую цифру только один раз. В задании один заголовок лишний.

A. Young children have a genetic ability to learn language. They come into the world as eager learning machines, and language acquisition is a major aspect of this learning. How children actually learn language is not entirely clear, however. Most linguists believe that they do it primarily by listening to and trying to communicate with adult speakers. Initially, this means that they copy the way adults use words and grammar.

B. Learning a second or third language is easier in early childhood than later. It is particularly important to learn correct pronunciation as young as possible. At any age, learning by constant contact with native speakers in their own society is the quickest and the most effective method. It is superior to taking foreign language classes because it forces you to concentrate on it all of the time.

C. Learning a second language can be affected by the patterns of the first language. There can be some blending of phonemes. For instance, most Americans who learn French in high school or college pronounce French words with a distinctive American accent. Grammar can also be affected. English speakers who learn both French and Spanish sometimes combine grammatical rules of both when speaking either of them.

D. Until just a few years ago, language study was limited to the classroom or personal tutor, or home study by book. In the last few decades technology has given us a much needed audio option — first vinyl records, then cassettes and CDs. Now technology has given us a new format — the Internet. Options to learn a language by Internet are still limited but the potential is not.

E. What is important when learning a language? If you have the desire and persistence, time is the only factor that you may have to work with. How much time you can devote to learning will play a role in how quickly you can learn the language. Just remember how exciting it will be and how rewarding you will feel at the accomplishment.

F. Rather than have businessmen, diplomats, scientists and tourists from every country learning all the major languages that they want to learn or need to learn, Esperantists would have everyone just learn one second language — Esperanto. Then everyone could communicate with everyone, everywhere. The major ‘national’ languages could keep their special characteristics for anyone who wanted to learn them. This is the essence of the ‘Esperanto Movement’.

G. More than half of the world’s 7,000 languages are expected to die out by the end of the century, often taking with them irreplaceable knowledge about the natural world. When a species dies out, sometimes fossils can be found, remains uncovered. But when a human language disappears, there’s rarely any key left behind. Each loss becomes a linguistic black hole, where an entire way of knowing the world disappears.

11

Прочитайте текст и заполните пропуски A—F частями предложений, обозначенными цифрами 1—7. Одна из частей в списке 1—7 лишняя. Занесите цифру, обозначающую соответствующую часть предложения, в таблицу.

A constitution may be defined as the system of fundamental principles according to A ____________. A good example of a written constitution is the Constitution of the United States, formed in 1787.

The Constitution sets up a federal system with a strong central government. Each state preserves its own independence by reserving to itself certain well-defined powers such as education, taxes and finance, internal communications, etc. The powers B ____________ are those dealing with national defence, foreign policy, the control of international trade, etc.

Under the Constitution power is also divided among the three branches of the national government. The First Article provides for the establishment of the legislative body, Congress, and defines its powers. The second does the same for the executive branch, the President, and the Third Article provides for a system of federal courts.

The Constitution itself is rather short, it contains only 7 articles. And it was obvious in 1787 C ____________. So the 5th article lays down the procedure for amendment. A proposal to make a change must be first approved by two-thirds majorities in both Houses of Congress and then ratified by three quarters of the states.

The Constitution was finally ratified and came into force on March 4, 1789. When the Constitution was adopted, Americans were dissatisfied D ____________. It also recognized slavery and did not establish universal suffrage.

Only several years later, Congress was forced to adopt the first 10 amendments to the Constitution, E ____________. They guarantee to Americans such important rights and freedoms as freedom of press, freedom of religion, the right to go to court, have a lawyer, and some others.

Over the past 200 years 26 amendments have been adopted F ____________. It provides the basis for political stability, individual freedom, economic growth and social progress.

1. which are given to a Federal government
2. because it did not guarantee basic freedoms and individual rights
3. but the Constitution itself has not been changed
4. so it has to be changed
5. which a nation or a state is constituted and governed
6. which were called the Bill of Rights
7. that there would be a need for altering it

Прочитайте текст и выполните задания 12—18. В каждом задании запишите в поле ответа цифру 1, 2, 3 или 4, соответствующую выбранному Вами варианту ответа.

That summer an army of crickets started a war with my father. They picked a fight the minute they invaded our cellar. Dad didn’t care for bugs much more than Mamma, but he could tolerate a few spiders and assorted creepy crawlers living in the basement. Every farm house had them. A part of rustic living, and something you needed to put up with if you wanted the simple life.

He told Mamma: ‘Now that we’re living out here, you can’t be jerking your head and swallowing your gum over what’s plain natural, Ellen.’ But she was a city girl through and through and had no ears when it came to defending vermin. She said a cricket was just a noisy cockroach, just a dumb horny bug that wouldn’t shut up. No way could she sleep with all that chirping going on! Then to prove her point she wouldn’t go to bed. She drank coffee and smoked my father’s cigarettes and she paced between the couch and the TV. Next morning she threatened to pack up and leave, so Dad drove to the hardware store and hurried back. He squirted poison from a jug with a spray nozzle. He sprayed the basement and all around the foundation of the house. When he had finished, he told us that was the end of it.

But what he should have said was: ‘This is the beginning’. For the next fourteen days Mamma kept finding dead crickets in the clean laundry. She’d shake out a towel or a sheet and a dead black cricket would roll across the linoleum. Sometimes the cat would corner one, and swat it around like he was playing hockey, then carry it away in his mouth. Dad said swallowing a few dead crickets wouldn’t hurt as long as the cat didn’t eat too many.

Soon live crickets started showing up in the kitchen and bathroom. Mamma freaked because she thought they were the dead crickets come back to haunt, but Dad said they were definitely a new batch, probably coming up on the pipes. He fetched his jug of poison and sprayed beneath the sink and behind the toilet and all along the baseboard until the whole house smelled of poison, and then he sprayed the cellar again, and then he went outside and sprayed all around the foundation leaving a foot-wide moat of poison.

For a couple of weeks we went back to finding dead crickets in the laundry. Dad told us to keep a sharp look out. He suggested that we’d all be better off to hide as many as we could from Mamma. I fed a few dozen to the cat who I didn’t like because he scratched and bit for no reason. I hoped the poison might kill him so we could get a puppy. Once in a while we found a dead cricket in the bathroom or beneath the kitchen sink. A couple of weeks later, when both live and dead crickets kept turning up, Dad emptied the cellar of junk. He borrowed Uncle Burt’s pickup and hauled a load to the dump. Then he burned a lot of bundled newspapers and magazines which he said the crickets had turned into nests.

He stood over that fire with a rake in one hand and a garden hose in the other. He wouldn’t leave it even when Mamma sent me out to fetch him for supper. He wouldn’t leave the fire, and she wouldn’t put supper on the table. Both my brothers were crying. Finally she went out and got him herself. And while we ate, the wind lifted some embers onto the wood pile. The only gasoline was in the lawn mower fuel tank but that was enough to create an explosion big enough to reach the house. Once the roof caught, there wasn’t much anyone could do.

After the fire trucks left, I made the mistake of volunteering to stay behind while Mamma took the others to Aunt Gail’s. I helped Dad and Uncle Burt and two men I’d never seen before carry things out of the house and stack them by the road. In the morning we’d come back in Burt’s truck and haul everything away. We worked into the night and we didn’t talk much, hardly a word about anything that mattered, and Dad didn’t offer any plan that he might have for us now. Uncle Burt passed a bottle around, but I shook my head when it came to me. I kicked and picked through the mess, dumb struck at how little there was to salvage, while all around the roar of crickets magnified our silence.

(Adapted from ‘The Cricket War’ by Bob Thurber)

12

A cricket is

Ответ: .

13

Mamma threatened to pack up and leave because
1) she had smoked all cigarettes.
2) she had not got used to rustic living.
3) she could not put up with crickets.
4) she was a city girl through and through.
Ответ: .

14

After Dad had sprayed the basement and all around the foundation of the house,
1) the family were constantly coming across dead crickets.
2) the family kept seeing live crickets everywhere.
3) the dead crickets came back to haunt.
4) all crickets disappeared.
Ответ: .

15

The narrator fed the cat with crickets because
1) the cat was hungry.
2) he would like to have another pet.
3) he wanted to hide crickets from Mamma.
4) Dad told him to do it.
Ответ: .

16

Dad borrowed Uncle Burt’s pickup
1) to fight with crickets.
2) to bring new furniture to the cellar.
3) to throw away newspapers and magazines.
4) to get rid of rubbish.
Ответ: .

17

The house caught fire because
1) Dad left a garden hose near the fire.
2) the wind lifted some papers onto the wood pile.
3) the fuel tank had gone off.
4) there wasn’t much anyone could do.
Ответ: .

18

The narrator was surprised
1) that Dad didn’t offer any plan.
2) when the bottle came to him.
3) that crickets were all around.
4) that there was not much to save from the fire.
Ответ: .

Раздел 3. ГРАММАТИКА И ЛЕКСИКА

Прочитайте приведённый ниже текст. Преобразуйте, если необходимо, слова, напечатанные заглавными буквами в конце строк, обозначенных номерами 19—25, так, чтобы они грамматически соответствовали содержанию текстов. Заполните пропуски полученными словами. Каждый пропуск соответствует отдельному заданию из группы 19—25.

Обратите внимание, что по правилам ЕГЭ ответы нужно писать без пробелов и других знаков, например, правильный ответ ‘have done’ нужно будет записать как ‘havedone’, иначе ваш ответ не засчитается.

September Mood in England

Прочитайте приведённый ниже текст. Образуйте от слов, напечатанных заглавными буквами в конце строк, обозначенных номерами 26—31, однокоренные слова так, чтобы они грамматически и лексически соответствовали содержанию текста. Заполните пропуски полученными словами. Каждый пропуск соответствует отдельному заданию из группы 26—31.

Junk Food

Прочитайте текст с пропусками, обозначенными номерами 32—38. Эти номера соответствуют заданиям 32—38, в которых представлены возможные варианты ответов. Запишите в поле ответа цифру 1, 2, 3 или 4, соответствующую выбранному Вами варианту ответа.

The Changing World of Computers

Computers are rapidly changing the way we do things. For a technology that is still relatively new, their 32____ on the business and consumer sector has been incomprehensible. As if it was not sufficient to own one computer, many people nowadays have a few of them. We think we need a desktop computer, a laptop computer, and a bunch of little computers in our phones and music players, even 33____ they actually do the same thing. Now that everybody has their desktops and laptops, and we are all able to 34____ the Internet anytime we want to, our world has turned into a virtual playground. We can now connect with our foreign neighbours in a matter of seconds, 35____ of how far away they are from us. It’s as if we no longer have borders in this highly digital world of ours.

Desktops have always been a great option, but the problem with them is that they are not mobile. They have all the 36____ of other computers, but it can be annoying at times to have to sit in the same spot while working. For businesses and personal offices, desktop computers are still the favoured option because of their power. But when people have to be connected while travelling, the need for laptops really becomes apparent. The main advantage of laptops is the ability to communicate with people no 37____ where you are. Our society has been converted into one that has to have all the latest gadgets. Some people even 38____ down on others if they still have last year’s model of some gadget. Those people will always be behind the curve just because of how fast technology is advancing now.

32

Ответ: .

33

Ответ: .

34

Ответ: .

35

Ответ: .

36

Ответ: .

37

Ответ: .

38

Ответ: .

Ваш результат: пока 0.

Подробности

30325

Прочитайте текст с пропусками, обозначенными номерами. Эти номера соответствуют заданиям А22-А28, в которых представлены возможные варианты ответов. Обведите номер выбранного вами варианта ответа. TEST  04 ( part 3)

Machu Picchu

    In a way, it’s wonderful that Machu Picchu can nowadays be visited on a day A22 ……………… from Cuzco. Everyone probably should have a chance to see this remarkable place.

    Like many travellers, I hoped to get a taste of Machu Picchu’s ‘lost in the clouds’ atmosphere by approaching the ruins on foot A23 ……………… the Inca trail. I joined the obligatory tour group in Cuzco, then spent the next four days surrounded by others making the classic pilgrimage. Along the way, we crossed several breathtaking Andean passes, treading on original Inca paving stones, and passing several other fine ruins.

    Our last A24 ……………… stop was at an exquisitely beautiful site called Huinay Huayna, where dozens of impossibly steep terraces cascade into a deep green gorge backed by a high waterfall. My new-found travelling companions included five Argentines who A25 ……………… my interest in exploring Huinay Huayna by moonlight.

    The only problem was a slight difference in styles. Mine was more along the lines of silent and meditative contemplation; theirs involved a ritualistic circle chant, led by the charismatic lone male in the group whom I thereafter nicknamed the Warlock. Absenting myself from the circle that night, I made a mental note to A26 ……………… my distance from them the next day at Machu Picchu.

    Before dawn the following morning we climbed to the mountaintop Gateway of the Sun, hoping for the classic panoramic view of Machu Picchu before the tour buses arrived. Unfortunately, the weather did not cooperate. With dozens of other disappointed trekkers, I shivered on the hilltop in chilly fog for two hours, waiting for a sunrise that never came, then trudged down the hill to Machu Picchu itself. As I A27 ………………, the clouds started lifting, revealing the place to be every bit as spectacular as I could have hoped. By day’s end, my tour group had dispersed, apparently preferring a hot bath. I, however, felt I was just A28 ……………… the surface. 

А22	1) travel	2) voyage	3) journey	4) trip
А23	1) with	2) via	3) across	4) over
А24	1) overall	2) overhead	3) overnight	4) overday
А25	1) captured	2) shared	3) kept	4) held
А26	1) keep	2) hold	3) take	4) use
А27	1) descended	2) ascended	3) attended	4) pretended
А28	1) reaching	2) touching	3) scratching	4) patching

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The Slob’s Holiday

My husband and I went to Reno for our holiday last year. ‘Isn’t that place where people go to get a quickie divorce?’ asked my second son. ‘Yes’, I said, trying to look enigmatic and interesting. ‘You are not getting divorced, are you?’ he asked bluntly. ‘No,’ I said, ‘we are going to an outdoor pursuit trade fair.’ The children sighed with relief and slouched away, muttering things like ‘boring’. I call them children, but they are all grown up. My eldest son has started to develop fine lines around his eyes — fledgling crow’s feet. A terrible sight for any parent to see. Anyway, the piece isn’t about children. It’s about holidays.

The first thing to be said about holidays is that anybody who can afford one should be grateful. The second thing is that planning holidays can be hard work. In our household it starts with somebody muttering, ‘I suppose we ought to think about a holiday.’ This remark is usually made in July and is received glumly, as if the person making it has said ‘I suppose we ought to think about the Bolivian balance of payment problems.’

Nothing much happens for a week and then the potential holiday-makers are rounded up and made to consult their diaries. Hospital appointments are taken into consideration, as are important things to do with work. But other highlights on the domestic calendar, such as the cat’s birthday, are swept aside and eventually two weeks are found. The next decision is the most painful: where?
We travel abroad to work quite a lot but we return tired and weary, so the holiday we are planning is a slob’s holiday: collapse on a sunbed, read a book until the sun goes down, stagger back to hotel room, shower, change into glad rags, eat well, wave good-bye to teenagers, have a last drink on hotel terrace, go to bed and then lie awake and wait for hotel waiters to bring the teenagers from the disco.

I never want to be guided around another monument, as long as I live. I do not want to be told how many bricks it took to build it. I have a short attention span for such details. I do not want to attend a ‘folk evening’ ever, ever again. The kind where men with their trousers tucked into their socks wave handkerchiefs in the direction of women wearing puff-sleeved blouses, long skirts and headscarves.

I also want to live dangerously and get brown. I want my doughy English skin change from white sliced to wheat germ. I like the simple pleasure of removing my watch strap and gazing at the patch of virgin skin beneath.

I don’t want to make new friends — on holidays or in general; I can’t manage the ones I have at home. I do not want to mix with the locals and I have no wish to go into their homes. I do not welcome tourists who come to Leicester into my home. Why should the poor locals in Holidayland be expected to? It’s bad enough that we monopolize their beaches, clog their pavements and spend an hour in a shop choosing a sunhat that costs the equivalent of 75 pence.

So, the slob’s holiday has several essential requirements: a hotel on a sunny beach, good food, a warm sea, nightlife for the teenagers, a big crowd to get lost in, and the absence of mosquitoes.
As I write, we are at the planning stage. We have looked through all the holiday brochures, but they are full of references to ‘hospitable locals’, ‘folk nights’, ‘deserted beaches’, and ‘interesting historical sights’. Not our cup of tea, or glass of sangria, at all.

1. The parents’ choice of holiday destination made the narrator’s children feel
1) jealous.
2) excited.
3) alarmed.
4) indifferent.

2. The narrator’s words ‘A terrible sight for any parent to see’ refer to
1) the way children behave.
2) the fact that children are aging.
3) the way children change their image.
4) the fact there is a generation gap.

3. When the need for holiday planning is first announced in the narrator’ family, it
1) is regarded as an important political issue.
2) is met with enthusiasm by all the family.
3) seems like an impossible task.
4) is openly ignored.

4. To find a two-week slot for a holiday potential holiday-makers have to
1) negotiate the optimum period for travel.
2) cancel prior business appointments.
3) re-schedule individual summer plans.
4) make a list of the things to be taken into account.

5. The slob’s holiday is the type of holiday for people, who
1) do not want to go on holiday abroad.
2) go on holiday with teenagers.
3) do not like public life.
4) prefer peaceful relaxing holidays.

6. When the narrator says ‘I also want to live dangerously’, she means
1) getting lost in the crowd.
2) going sightseeing without a guide.
3) choosing herself the parties to go to.
4) lying long hours in the sun on the beach.

7. The main reason the narrator doesn’t want to mix up with locals is because she
1) doesn’t let tourists to her house at Leicester.
2) doesn’t want to add to their inconveniencies.
3) is afraid to make friends with local people.
4) values her own privacy above all.